Contributed by : Estrelita
Saturday, April 25, 2009
The Baywatch Team
DO YOU STILL REMEMBER THEM?
MEET THE MALAYSIAN BAYWATCH TEAM
Contributed by : Wong Pei Tjin.
Clean Jokes Corner
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem.
While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land , for $150."
The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"
The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance".
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer.
She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"
The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"
One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'"
An old man sitting at the mall watched a teenager intently. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. The old man kept staring at him.
When the teenager was tired of being stared at, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter, old man? Never did anything wild in your life?"
The old man did not bat an eye when he responded, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."
Not So Clean Jokes Corner
A fellow stops by to visit his friend who is paralyzed from the waist down. They talk for a while and then the friend asks, "My feet are cold. Would you be so kind as to go get me my shoes please?"
The guest obliges and goes upstairs. There he sees his friend's daughters, both very good looking. Being the adventurous and quick thinking kind, he says: "Hi, ladies! Your daddy sent me up here to make love to you!"
They stare at him and say, "That can't be!"
He replies, "OK, let's check!"
He shouts down the stairs to his friend, "Both of them?"
The reply comes back, "Yes, both of them!"
It's closing time, and two drunks are getting ready to leave the bar.
"God, I hate getting home at this hour. All I want to do is take my shoes off and crawl into bed, but Hailey always nags me for what seems like hours".
"Sneaking's not the way to do it. Try slamming the front door, stomping upstrais, and yelling, 'Hey baby, let's fuck'.
When I do that, my wife always pretends she's sound asleep".
The 75-year-old groom, with the young wife, caused a lot of attention as he checked into the resort hotel.
The following morning, the old boy came strutting into the dining room, lookin' great with a big smile on his face. He proceeded to order an enormous breakfast.
He laughed and joked and was in obvious good spirits, whereas his young wife, who came into the room a half hour later, looked worn out. She ordered coffee in a voice so weak the waiter had to ask her to repeat the order.
The old man finished his breakfast, excused himself and left for their room. This gave the waitress a chance to ask the bride, "Honey, I can't figure it out. The old geezer, your husband, looks like a million and you look like two cents. What's wrong?"
"That guy double-crossed me," the bride said. "He told me he'd saved up for fifty years! And all the time I thought he was talking about money!"
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem.
While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land , for $150."
The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"
The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance".
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer.
She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"
The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"
One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'"
An old man sitting at the mall watched a teenager intently. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. The old man kept staring at him.
When the teenager was tired of being stared at, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter, old man? Never did anything wild in your life?"
The old man did not bat an eye when he responded, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."
Not So Clean Jokes Corner
A fellow stops by to visit his friend who is paralyzed from the waist down. They talk for a while and then the friend asks, "My feet are cold. Would you be so kind as to go get me my shoes please?"
The guest obliges and goes upstairs. There he sees his friend's daughters, both very good looking. Being the adventurous and quick thinking kind, he says: "Hi, ladies! Your daddy sent me up here to make love to you!"
They stare at him and say, "That can't be!"
He replies, "OK, let's check!"
He shouts down the stairs to his friend, "Both of them?"
The reply comes back, "Yes, both of them!"
It's closing time, and two drunks are getting ready to leave the bar.
"God, I hate getting home at this hour. All I want to do is take my shoes off and crawl into bed, but Hailey always nags me for what seems like hours".
"Sneaking's not the way to do it. Try slamming the front door, stomping upstrais, and yelling, 'Hey baby, let's fuck'.
When I do that, my wife always pretends she's sound asleep".
The 75-year-old groom, with the young wife, caused a lot of attention as he checked into the resort hotel.
The following morning, the old boy came strutting into the dining room, lookin' great with a big smile on his face. He proceeded to order an enormous breakfast.
He laughed and joked and was in obvious good spirits, whereas his young wife, who came into the room a half hour later, looked worn out. She ordered coffee in a voice so weak the waiter had to ask her to repeat the order.
The old man finished his breakfast, excused himself and left for their room. This gave the waitress a chance to ask the bride, "Honey, I can't figure it out. The old geezer, your husband, looks like a million and you look like two cents. What's wrong?"
"That guy double-crossed me," the bride said. "He told me he'd saved up for fifty years! And all the time I thought he was talking about money!"
Friday, April 24, 2009
It Is Miraculous!
This is an inspiring story of a crippled girl in China .
When I saw the images of this girl Qing Hong Yan, my palm encasing the mouse literally shook because this was what I least expected to see. By the final image, my vision blurred and I had to recite a few verses of prayers for calmness.
I could feel how depressed and grief-stricken her parents must have been, and having to live each day to see their own child going through such predicament. It is not frequent to come across people who have sustained such permanent damage of the limbs. Just imagine, leaving her with only the torso!
For her parents, they have to struggle with their own reactions of shock and disappointment, and to cope with their feelings require a ton of pluck. As I look at it, it is Hong Yan who gives her parents the hope that she could be independent in her own way.
Some of us may think it is all about karma to atone for what bad we had done and I guess the easiest way out is to say that god does not love the handicaps.
If that is the case, then we must not forget that the devil orchestrates such thing to break down people’s faith either through defective genes or by accidents.
When I saw the images of this girl Qing Hong Yan, my palm encasing the mouse literally shook because this was what I least expected to see. By the final image, my vision blurred and I had to recite a few verses of prayers for calmness.
Qian Hong Yan lost her legs in an accident. Her family in China are poor and couldn't afford artificial legs, so she uses a basketball to help her move.
As a parent myself, my heart goes out for her. And I could not imagine what I will be if she is my own. I have to admit that I can never be as strong as she is.
I could feel how depressed and grief-stricken her parents must have been, and having to live each day to see their own child going through such predicament. It is not frequent to come across people who have sustained such permanent damage of the limbs. Just imagine, leaving her with only the torso!
For her parents, they have to struggle with their own reactions of shock and disappointment, and to cope with their feelings require a ton of pluck. As I look at it, it is Hong Yan who gives her parents the hope that she could be independent in her own way.
Some of us may think it is all about karma to atone for what bad we had done and I guess the easiest way out is to say that god does not love the handicaps.
If that is the case, then we must not forget that the devil orchestrates such thing to break down people’s faith either through defective genes or by accidents.
I feel it is not for us to question things beyond our knowledge but to provide a place to care and love for these people instead. There are reasons for all things to happen, even the blessed ones.
Her story is a life long lesson to us because we may not walk a mile in her shoes or rather “limp a mile in her arms” to truly understand how she feels.
I salute you little angel, for you have given us the true meaning of hope and courage that many of us have yet to learn.
May god bless you always no matter where you are.
I salute you little angel, for you have given us the true meaning of hope and courage that many of us have yet to learn.
May god bless you always no matter where you are.Contributed by : Angela Ooi (Photos)
The Writer (Contents)
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