Future Nursery Rhymes

Jack and Jill went into town

To fetch some chips and sweeties.

He can't keep his heart rate down

And she's got diabetes.

Mary had a little lamb

Her father shot it dead

Now it goes to school with her

Between two chunks of bread.

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.

Said Simple Simon to the pie man

'What have you got there?'

Said the pie man unto Simon

'Pies you dummy!'

Mary had a little lamb

It ran into a pylon.

10,000 volts went up its @rse

And turned its wool to nylon.

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie

Kissed the girls and made them cry.

When the boys came out to play

He kissed them too cause he was gay.

Jack and Jill went up the hill

And planned to do some kissing.

Jack made a pass

And grabbed her ass

Now two of his teeth are missing.

Mary had a little lamb

Its fleece was white and wispy.

Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease

And now it's black and crispy.

Contributed by : Angela Ooi

Fat Is Beautiful?

It is a prejudice if we have no willingness to understand why some people weigh more than others. Fat people are often belittled to have attacked the planet of food by consuming more for themselves.

Some people have legitimate reasons for being overweight including thyroid disorders but not the amount of food consumed.

The contemporary people are pampered by technology and become too lazy. In our communities, people are not encouraged to walk, but to drive. Video games and computers are the favourite forms of entertainment and people spend too much time watching television.

Most people work long hours which leaves little time to cook a decent meal, so fast food is the alternative.

Eating right for healthy body is correct but not how heavy someone is. By blaming large people for consuming more energy and food than others is wrong because obesity is not the problem to cause food shortage, but over population is.

In certain cultures, thin women are considered ugly and repulsive while fat women are objects of beauty and desire! So, it is safe to say that fat women are beautiful and thin women are disgusting!

So girls, you can stop dieting and aerobic workouts because twenty young women with fuller figures cat-walked on stage for the annual “Fat and Beautiful” pageant in the southern Israeli city of Beersheba.

Beauty queens come in all shapes and sizes, and the contestants were proud to be “big and beautiful”.

If anyone despises fat people for being unattractive and too lazy to stay slim, just don’t disguise it with bogus arguments. I do not think it is an overweight person’s fault.

What they can do is take responsibility and become more physically active, make a conscious decision not to eat junk, and not to make excuses. Just be who you are and what you can be!

Large people get a lot of misdirected anger thrown at them, however, we should not blame fat people because they have their rights to eat that much. It is an awful thing that the western world is suffering from unprecedented fatalities from obesity related illnesses, and the third world from lack of food.

We eat less because we don’t have enough, those who overeat is because they have enough. I strongly believe fat is a gene to some people who eat a little and they are just fat, while some thin people eat more than fat people but remain just as thin.

Fat people get more sex and this is the conclusion of a study completed by researchers from University of Hawaii School of Medicine.

The husband will be a poor thing because he has to withstand all the fat and get pulped. And if the husband is fat, then the wife will be squeezed till kingdom come.

The coroner will certify that both ended in natural suffocation while in bed.

Fatty Spouse

Contributed by : Robert Choo

Mystery - Street Protests Around The World

By spending hours marching out in the scorching heat, screaming your lungs out, it does not come everyday. In fact, when people do this sort of thing within the context of one’s right, it is usually a cry for help – nothing more or nothing less.

When any government, for the matter, refuses the people an avenue to voice their grievances or to suppress human rights and freedom, then the last resort the people will take is the street.

Then, the police will conduct widespread arrests to suppress protesters and their supporters. Such cracked down by using whatever means the law provided can never be successful because the actual problems are still left unsolved.

Any corrupt government is an oppressive government. When the plundering of the country’s wealth takes place right before the people’s eyes with impunity, then history will prove beyond a shadow of doubt where people will rise to take the street is imminent. The government must be checked. Bureaucrats must be resisted.

The people must be given the correct information and their rights to decide which government they want. It is the people who voted the government to run the country, and they are the very people who can take the government down when the government has betrayed their trust!

The federal government must uphold the rights of the people, and bound by the Constitutions to ensure every citizen is guaranteed of their liberty and justice. The people give the government its just powers and the government must not subjugate the people to any injustice, cruelty and the freedom to speech. The government must operate at the consent of the people, only then democracy can prevail.

Government corruption involves the elected officials breaking the law, taking bribes, or wrongfully issuing special favours to select individuals or cliques to promote their own career.

To an extent, this is government corruption, but such activity only touches the surface. It represents a small fraction of the real corruption going on. The most egregious corruption originates right in plain view in the “palace” of legislature, and the people know it and want something to be done about it.

A corrupt government is one that extends unlawful jurisdiction over the people it is supposed to protect, and legislates beyond its rightful power by erecting laws that do injury to liberty, justice, and individual rights. A corrupt government believes that might is right, and ultimately curtail freedom. Such blatant act forces the populace into submission while falsely claiming it is acting in their best interest.

When the government does not change with time, then time will give people the opportunity to change the government.

Today, most of the people are Subjects of a corrupt government and they are not powerless. In fact, they should not allow the government to act wrongfully to them. Most people have the faintest idea how far off course the government has strayed. But, when they realized a little too late, the power for the police to arrest becomes evident.

The government will call on the people who dislike them to wait for the poll to cast their votes of choice. Most likely the people could not wait because the government is capable of rigging the election.

More people are beginning to understand that failure to exercise their fundamental right will bring them nowhere. Since politicians and bureaucrats do not deliver liberty, they take it away from the people then, the only alternative for them is to stand up and be counted!

It does not matter if the society is realistic to what action they want to take, or resigned to fate because some have the unthinkable tolerance to put up with certain level of government corruption.

When the tolerance gap narrowed, the clarion call for the effective use of the existing laws (that is deadly for the government bureaucrats, politicians and henchmen), the people will run into confrontation with the police.

People do not need to wait for a ruling from a judge to nix an unjust prosecution. The people are the ultimate check against despotic government authoritarians and will not take the back seat to fight for their liberty.

No matter in which country, when the government is so corrupted and perverted that they no longer meet the hopes and aspirations of the people, and incapable of enforcing even anti-corruption laws, then let hell break loose in the streets.

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure. Thomas Jefferson

Art With Sand

Contributed by : Sokewong

Uthayakumar's Sedition Trial

Another day came and gone, but P. Uthayakumar is still in Kumunting

An application by Uthaya’s lawyers failed in their bid to have him present during his sedition trial at the Kuala Lumpur High Court.

Justice Sabariah Othman ruled that it was not necessary for Uthayakumar to be brought from the Kamunting detention centre for the case. She said that his lawyers could proceed with the case on his behalf.

N Surendran asked for a postponement so that Uthayakumar could be present in the trial. He wanted the court to ensure that Uthayakumar was brought to the court by the prison authorities and not the police special branch.

The case is then scheduled on 7th. May 2009.

Somali Pirates

Somali pirates continue their attacks against international ships in and around the Gulf of Aden, despite the deterrent of stepped-up international naval escorts and patrols - and the increased failure rate of their attacks.


Under agreements with Somalia, the U.N, and each other, ships belonging to fifteen countries now patrol the area. Somali pirates - who have won themselves nearly $200 million in ransom since early 2008 - are being captured more frequently now, and handed over to authorities in Kenya, Yemen and Somalia for trial.


Collected here are some recent photos of piracy off the coast of Somalia, and the international efforts to rein it in.

Pic 01

Pirates flee from the German navy as the frigate Rheinland-Pfalz intercepted them in the Gulf of Aden off Somalia's coast on March 3, 2009. The German navy detained nine people on March 3, 2009 after they tried to attack a German merchant ship, German media reported.

Pic 02

This handout photo shows Somali pirates hijacking the MV Faina, a cargo ship owned and operated by Kaalbye Shipping Ukraine on September 25, 2008. The pirates ultimately released the MV Faina and its cargo of 33 Soviet-era T-72 tanks plus other weapons on February 5, 2009 following a ransom payment of $3.2 million, a local man who helped negotiate the deal said.

Pic 03

In this photo released by the United States Navy, Somali pirates holding the merchant vessel MV Faina stand on the deck of the ship after a U.S. Navy request to check on the health and welfare of the ship's crew in the Indian Ocean off the coast of Somalia.

Pic 04

The crew of the hijacked Ukrainian merchant vessel MV Faina stand on the deck, under the watch of armed Somali pirates on November 9 after a US Navy request to check on their health and welfare, at sea off the coast of Somalia.

Pic 05

A French Atlantic plane passes over the French Frigate Le Floreal of the EPE (Embedded Protection Team), in the Gulf of Aden on January 10, 2009, as they escort a Danish ship with sensitive freight, off the coast of Djibouti, as part of an assignment to escort commercial ships in this area.

Pic 06

Suspected pirates keep their hands in the air as directed by sailors aboard the guided-missile cruiser USS Vella Gulf (CG 72) (not shown), in the Gulf of Aden, February 11, 2009. A multinational naval force seized the seven suspected pirates in the first such action in its anti-piracy campaign, the U.S. Navy said.

Pic 07

Search and seizure team members from the guided-missile cruiser USS Vella Gulf close in to apprehend suspected pirates in the Gulf of Aden February 11, 2009. The Vella Gulf is the flagship for Combined Task Force 151, a multi-national task force conducting counterpiracy operations to detect and deter piracy in and around the Gulf of Aden, Arabian Gulf, Indian Ocean and Red Sea.

Pic 08

French frigate, Le Floreal watches over the Danish ship "Puma" which is carrying sensitive cargo, on January 11, 2009, in the Gulf of Aden.

Pic 09

The MV Sirius Star is observed at anchor by the US Navy on January 9, 2009 following an apparent payment via a parachuted container to pirates holding the Sirius Star. Suspected pirates can be seen on deck an up in the command center.

Pic 10

A parachute dropped by a small aircraft is observed by the U.S. Navy as it drops over the MV Sirius Star during an apparent payment via a parachuted container to pirates holding the Sirius Star off the coast of Somalia, January 9, 2009. Somali pirates then freed the Saudi supertanker seized in the world's biggest ship hijacking for a $3 million ransom - but five drowned when their boat capsized as they were making off with their share.

Pic 11

Flying on board a Panther helicopter dispatched from the French frigate, Le Floreal, a crew member watches a commercial ship during a supervision mission on January 11, 2009, in the Gulf of Aden.

Pic 12

Search and seizure team members from the guided-missile cruiser USS Vella Gulf close in to apprehend suspected pirates in the Gulf of Aden February 12, 2009.

Pic 13

Commandos from French frigate Le Floreal arrest nine Somali pirates in the Gulf of Aden in this January 27, 2009 photo released on Wednesday by the French Navy. As foreign navies fight increasingly brazen gangs that hijack commercial vessels in busy shipping lanes. France has captured 57 pirates in seven such operations since last April

Pic 14

This photo taken Sunday, Jan. 4, 2009 and provided by French Defense Ministry shows suspected pirates, intercepted by Marine commandos of the French Navy in the Gulf of Aden, off Somalia coasts. French government officials say the Jean de Vienne intercepted and captured 19 pirates Sunday as they tried to take over two cargo ships, one Croatian and the other Panamanian.

Pic 15

Picture released by the German Bundeswehr on March 4, 2009 shows Bundeswehr soldiers approaching pirates in the Gulf of Aden off Somalia on March 3, 2009, after frigate Rheinland-Pfalz (background) had received a distress call from a German-owned container ship saying she was under fire from pirates armed with bazookas and machine guns.

The frigate then dispatched a helicopter which together with another chopper from the US naval ship Monterey stopped the attempted attack by firing warning shots. German soldiers boarded the pirate vessel and took the nine into custody, the German military said.

Pic 16

German navy from frigate Rheinland-Pfalz detain pirates in the Gulf of Aden off Somalia's coast on March 3, 2009, in this picture made available on March 4, 2009.

Pic 17

A Somali pirate captured in the Gulf of Aden is handed over by the French forces to the Puntland marine officials in the northern port town of Bosasso, Somalia on January 29, 2009. The French navy handed over nine suspected pirates to the authorities in Puntland.

Pic 18

Suspected Somali pirates are seen after they were captured by Marine commandos of the French Navy in the Gulf of Aden, off Somalia's coast Thursday Jan. 29, 2009.

Pic 19

A rusty Kalashnikov assault rifle, confiscated from pirates detained by German navy from frigate Rheinland-Pfalz in the Gulf of Aden off Somalia's coast on March 3, 2009, in this picture made available on March 4, 2009. The German navy detained nine people on March 3, 2009 after they tried to attack a German merchant ship, German media reported.

Pic 20

Somali pirates captured in the Gulf of Aden are presented to the Puntland marine forces in the northern port town of Bosasso, Somalia on March 2, 2009. U.S. forces handed over nine pirates to Somali authorities of the semi-autonomous region of Puntland on Monday, said local official.

Pic 21

Seven Somalian pirates are led to court by Kenyan police officers on March 6, 2009 at the port town of Mombasa, Kenya. US Naval vessel VSS Leyte Gulf intercepted last month the pirates off the Somalian coast as they attempted to board a merchant vessel.

Pic 22

Some of the eight suspected Somali pirates at the Mombasa Law courts, Mombasa, Kenya, Wednesday, Jan 14, 2009, when the hearing of their piracy case started. The pirates were arrested early last month by naval officers from a British Naval Ship MV Knight Wave which has been on patrol along the Indian Ocean waters. Two British Naval officers were the first to give their evidence against the pirates. The hearing of the case will continue for three days.

Pic 23

In this photo provided by the U.S. Navy, ransom money is dropped near the Ukrainian cargo ship MV Faina while under observation by a U.S. Navy ship February 4, 2009 off the coast of Somalia near Hobyo. Pirates did not leave the ship until February 5.

Pic 24

The Belize flagged MV Faina is escorted by a Kenyan port authority tug vessel into the port of Mombasa, Kenya on February 12, 2009, after it was released by Somali pirates a week ago. It arrived in Mombasa amid a raging controversy over its cargo of battle tanks and ammunition. While Kenya has always said the shipment was for its armed forces, several experts and diplomats in the region have revealed it was in fact destined to the government of South Sudan and was the fifth delivery of its kind in less than two years

Pic 25

Soviet made T-72 tanks sit in the hull of the Belize flagged MV Faina on February 13, 2009 at the Mombasa, Kenya harbor where it has been berthed for the last two days.

Pic 26

Suspected pirates wait to be moved at the port in Mombassa, Kenya, Tuesday, March 10, 2009, after they were handed over to Kenyan police by the German navy who arrested them off the coast of Somalia the previous week. The frequency of attacks has actually increased since last year: 31 reported were reported in January and February compared to 111 for the whole of 2008, but the pirates are finding it harder to seize vessels.

Pic 27

File picture dated April 22, 2008 shows Yemeni coast guards on standby next to the damaged Japanese tanker Takayama, that was attacked by pirates following its arrival in the southern Yemeni port of Aden. Half of the its members don't know how to swim and they don't have enough boats, leaving Yemen's coast guards struggling to meet the enormous maritime challenges facing one of the world's poorest nations; piracy.

Pic 28

German Bundeswehr soldiers approach pirates in the Gulf of Aden off Somalia on March 3, 2009, after the German frigate Rheinland-Pfalz had received a distress call from a German-owned container ship saying she was under fire from pirates armed with bazookas and machine guns.

Pic 29

German Bundeswehr soldiers apprehend pirates in the Gulf of Aden off Somalia on March 3, 2009.

Pic 30

Suspected Somali pirates sit in the dock inside a court of law in the Kenyan coastal town of Mombasa March 6, 2009. The United States had turned over seven suspected Somali pirates to Kenya for prosecution for the first time under a bilateral pact that opened the way for the U.S. Navy to capture pirates on the high seas.