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Contributed by : Angela Ooi.

For A Laugh

When Name Calling Isn't Swearing!

WIMPY DADS

Two kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest scaredy-cat.

The first kid says, "My dad is so scared that when lightning strikes, he hides underneath the bed.

"The second kid replies, "Yeah? Well, that's nothing. My dad is so scared that when my mom has to work the nightshift, he sleeps with the woman nextdoor."

HOW TO SAVE THE AIRLINES

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! Whatthe hell -- They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a "party atmosphere" going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women. Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and "special services."

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry wouldsee record revenues. This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle itright -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn't Bush think of this? I still have to do everything!

Sincerely,

Bill Clinton

Contributed by : Estrelita Soliano Grosse.

Mystery – Of Being Yourself

As children, we express ourselves quite spontaneously, and most of the time children are living in the imaginery world of make belief! But for many adults, this is sometimes a great challenge because the imaginery world of surrealism could turn out to be a reality. We learn as we grow and yearning for our innate need to be loved, and to a frightening level, we may overreact ending like a wacko!

Different people use different strategy to deal with the problems they encounter. Usually, biting problems can be churned to our advantage by believing in ourselves.

Humans are born choice-makers, although the reluctance to use our freedom of choice beneficially often becomes the stumbling block to achieve what is desired.

Being yourself is accepting yourself for whoever and whatever you are. Some of us may experience the pain in life by refusing to live as ourselves but as somebody else.

We are most of the time being made to feel guilty or inferior, but if we know we are worth the salt, then the sky is the limit for us to propel to. In the final count of all the possibilities, only we will know what is right for ourselves.

The most important is to ask, “Who am I?” and “What do I want in life?” But “What will I be when I grow up or grow old?” lies in our destiny. In order to strike a resonated chord within self, is not to be afraid to exhibit one’s self-worth.

The bottom line to all adversities that we have to face is to be true to ourselves that should come naturally but not artificially.

When fortune finds its way into anyone, the monster inside will rise. It is money that makes one go way out of the line, because money can “talk” the language that only you can understand.

This wacko was the secret weapon that drove Saddam Hussein crazy. If there was any place Saddam wanted to be, was to be away from this wacko, and for good!

The Sentiment of the Rakyat

Sure! UMNO will emerge stronger.

The rhetoric in the UMNO General Assembly was for bashing on those outside UMNO. They can scream their heads off, but the bottom line is how the people outside UMNO think, is more important.


Defensive people can never be open-minded about new ideas but to spew venom upon the listeners whom he/she finds a threat to his/her position. To the rhetors, those who disagree are the enemies to them and such inferior perception must be ground into dirt.

How pathetic it is to be paranoid and to think that ridiculing or attacking is the most effective way to "win" the argument. Unless practical reason with cooperative approach with the rakyat is considered rather than confrontational rhetoric, the UMNO rhetors might as well keep dreaming to be strong.


Yes! UMNO can become stronger because UMNO will not learn.

Racism is the tool to garner the Malays sympathy. Not all the Malays choose to listen to such crab because they have not forgotten what Zaid Ibrahim said about the good qualities of the Malays.


When will UMNO learn that a pinch of politeness to state their stand will work far better than a pound of verbal abuse thrown at will? The rakyat acknowledges that UMNO is weak, the disunity within with power struggle has left the country in a wanting state of economy, lost of employment and the dreaded of all, the ugly head of racism.


Why not? UMNO can reinvent.

How? Wanting to reinvent without Tengku Razaleigh will be far-fetch! To reinvent, UMNO has to start from scratch, that is, to be the Opposition.

The ethos in Tengku Razaleigh and Zaid Ibrahim are frown upon in UMNO. Why? They are far too intelligent and their foresight has gone down well with the rakyat on the whole. As such, UMNO people do not see them as assets to the party and country but a threat to remove them from sitting in the cushion of advantage.

With the three by-elections on the way, they become the yardstick to determine what the rakyat wants. The rakyat wants democracy and fairness, and Bukit Gantang is the imminent battle ground – the threshold for the rakyat to tell the government that they want a change, so to Bukit Selambau and Batang Ai!

The Mystery of Odd Dressers

It seems that the right to self-expression is here to stay! Anyway, it is the person who is wearing it so what is the fuss about?

Many, somehow or rather will complain about his/her appearance, be it weight, hair, skin or height or anything that he/she can fault. By doing so, they forget about his/her own good qualities.

Personality is what counts when we fraternize. At work, we have to project the image that carries the job responsibility. However, casual wear will be the most suitable and comfortable when not at work.

Making a quick assessment about someone or something based on its looks is very important, but people still have the “primitive way” of dressing where this contemporary terms it as fashion.

Should we judge people based on their looks? No. How about the clothes they choose? Maybe some people choose to dress oddly so they must be looking for a reaction.

Genetically speaking, people tend to over-do in the way they dress especially when meeting someone of the opposite gender. And it is so too, to dress in a weird way.

People dress oddly because they want to get noticed. Or they might want to fit into a group, like the idiotic group. It is impossible not to analyse as soon as we see one odd dresser. To judge is the human nature but not to be judgmental, yet it is impossible to ignore it completely.

Anyone who dresses like a bozo is laughed at, but again it is his/her prerogative to choose how to dress.

If too much of the anatomy is exposed then they are asking for trouble. But this is immaterial as long as they can capture attention.

Anyone who chooses to dress in this way and enticing the beholder to see the rest, at least wear underwear. To wear underwear, then you will be disappointed because exhibitionism is the trend today!

To Wear Or Not To Wear Is Between You And Your Body. To Exhibit Your Anatomy Or Not Is Entirely Your Prerogative. However, Do You Ever Consider That You Will Be The Influence To Such Social Decay?

Self-Development?

Steven Covey's famous 7 habits for successful people are nothing more than a free adaptation of very common Hokkien phrases ( surprised ? ).

So why pay thousands of dollars to attend talks when your grand-parents, parents, spouses and even the auntie who sweeps the floor can give you the same kind of advice FOC, every day?

1. England has madcow,Hong Kong has Macau,Russia has Moscow,S'pore has 2 famous cows-'Cow-peh and cow-bo'

2. When ur life is in darkness......Pray 2 God and ask Him 2 free u from darkness..... andIf u r still in darkness..Pls pay ur TNB bill.

3.If u need ADVICE, SMS ME,If u need DARLING, CALL ME, If u need HELP, E-MAIL ME,IF U NEED MONEY, Nombor yang anda dail,tiada dalam perkhidmatan kami, Terima Kasih.

Dear Ah Lian,

Thanks you for your letter. Wrong time no see you. How everything? For me, I am quiet find.

You say in your letter your taukeh soh want you to chain your look? Somemore you must wear kick kok soo, hope you can wok properly.

You know, Ah Kau Kia working in a soft where company now. Last week, he take I, Muthu & few of his friend to May Nonut To eat barger. After that he take we all go to kalah ok. Muthu sing and sing no stop until the sky bright.

Next week, my father mother going to seller bread 20 years Annie wear sari. My father mother going to give a fist to all the kampong people. So you must come with your hole family.

I only hope one day we no need to write and send letter to you and to me. Better I e-meow you, you e-meow me. I will ketchup with you soon. And when you got time, please few free to call me. Goo bye.....

Worm regard,
Ah Beng

Note: Ah Beng is equivalent to a blonde man and Ah Lian to a blonde girl in the jokes fraternity.

Contributed by: Estrelita Soliano Groose.

Can Najib Be The Sixth PM?

R.A.H.M.A.N Prophesy: Najib may NOT be the 6th Prime Minister
Thursday, March 26, 2009.

Fulfillment of the last letter “N under the RAHMAN Prophesy.

For the RAHMAN prophesy to be fulfilled completely, the successor to Ahmad Abdullah Badawi has to have “N” on his first letter in his name.

The current Deputy Prime Minister’s name is Mohd Najib Abdul Razak ie his first letter is “M”. By extension of that fact, and for the RAHMAN prophesy to hold true as it did for the last 39 years, Najib will NOT be the next Prime Minister, even if he had been elected as the President of UMNO.

The fact that Mohd Najib had been commonly called as simply Najib , thus assuming “N” as his first letter in his name does not count in the RAHMAN prophesy. For instance, Najib’s father was commonly referred to as Tun Razak. If the RAHMAN prophesy had allowed “R” to be the first letter of the name to be considered, then the RAHMAN predicted would have collapsed in 1970 when Tun Razak assumed office of the Prime Minister.

All other Deputy Prime Ministers ( with the exception of Abdul Ghaffar Baba and Anwar Ibrahim), who did not meet the conditions of the RAHMAN prophesy, FAILED to become the next Prime Minister.

Mohd Najib Abdul Razak

The current Prime Minister, Ahmad Abdullah Badawi was expected to step down as President of UMNO following the completion of the 2009 UMNO General Assembly on 27th March 2009.Malaysians are expecting Mohd Najib to be the next President of UMNO and by convention, he will be installed as the 6th Prime Minister.

If Mohd Najib does succeed Ahmad Abdullah Badawi as the 6th Prime Minister, then it will be the FIRST time in 39 years that the RAHMAN prophesy has failed to predict the last (6th) Prime Minister with the name starting with the letter “N” in RAHMAN.

However, as noted by Tengku Razaleigh, Dr Mahathir and other political pundits, Mohd Najib’s ascension as President of UMNO does not constitutionally require that he will be installed as the Prime Minister of Malaysia.

The following events may still cause the RAHMAN prophesy to hold true after the 2009 UMNO General Assembly:

a) Although Mohd Najib becomes the President of UMNO, Ahmad Abdullah Badawi may wish to continue to be the Prime Minister of Malaysia as provided for in the constitution until he is given a vote of no confidence in Parliament. The RAHMAN prophesy remains intact. If this is the case, this will be the first time that a President of UMNO is not automatically made the Prime Minister of Malaysia.

b) The Yang DiPertuan Agung has the absolute discretion not to appoint Mohd Najib as the Prime Minister and he would either request Ahmad Abdullah Badawi to continue as Prime Minister until the next general election or the Agong may recall Parliament to decide on whether Mohd Najib or somebody else will be the Prime Minister.

As it stands, the RAHMAN prophesy says Mohd Najib Abdul Razak will not be the 6th Prime Minister, given it had stood the test of time of 39 years over 4 Prime Ministers and 9 Deputy Prime Ministers.

Malaysians will know in the days and weeks to come whether the RAHMAN prophesy will collapse without fulfilling the last letter “N”.

malaysianunplug.

What A Crying Shame!

Our politicians talk about the needs of a civil society, how the people’s collective action should voluntarily encompass around our shared interests, purposes and values.

We know that peace and prosperity cannot be achieved without partnerships involving Governments, international organizations, the business community and the civil society itself. In today’s world, we depend on each other to co-exist.

To my knowledge, civil society includes charities, neighbourhood self-help schemes, improving health, education and living-standards. But the most important of all is the human rights campaigns in a repressive society should be unbridled, to allow the people an avenue to their constitutional rights to vent their grievances.

By taking to the streets is not the answer, but a necessity when the people have exhausted all avenues available to them. When politicians from the government are faced with such a situation of, needs must when the devil drives, then mass arrest becomes inevitable.

In Shah Alam Court today (March 26 2009), those pleaded guilty were fined RM750.00 each for illegal assembly, and Lady Luck was with them when the magistrate dropped other serious charges.

KP Samy is the bailor and Hindraf paid for all the fines for those who had pleaded guilty.

It hurts to know that by pleading guilty is the only alternative. Many are wage earners and could not afford the cost and time travelling for each hearing. Incidentally, those detained were from the various states.

The pathetic sight was the absence of the “aduns” or Members of Parliament from Pakatan Rakyat. Where are you “Yang Berhormat” may I ask? Your moral support vanished when it was needed most.

I could not help but to agree with their disappointments, least to say their anger. The support from the politician(s) who was voted into office by the people was vividly missing!

It is not difficult to send your personal assistant if you are unable to come and show support, but not a soul was seen. It is your duty you owe to your voters which you ought to perform by merely be present at their difficult time, but you have failed them miserably. What a crying shame!

It is The Human Rights lawyers, Hindraf and KP Samy who had helped them to be free today.

Well, anyone can shout and scream that the government is practising selective arrest or favourtism, and it makes no difference to Pakatan Rakyat “aduns” and Member of Parliament as well, over their selective support for the people!

LATEST

14 of the 66 detained at the Batu Caves over Hindraf Rally(25 Nov) pleaded guilty at the Shah Alam Court today.


Public support was obviously lacking. The possible fine of RM2,000 or 1 year jail for each charge.


They were advised to reconsider their plea and more may turn up to plead guilty tomorrow.


Is this how the struggle should end? Malaysians please come forward to show you care and support.


Afterall, didn't they help to create the Tsunami of March 8?


Reported by : Segeran.

Note: I know a few will make it to the court tomorrow.

THE FOUR CANDLES

FOUR CANDLES slowly burned in the serene ambience that one could literally hear them talk!

The FIRST CANDLE said. “I am PEACE”
The world is full of anger and fighting.
Nobody can keep me lit.

Then, the flame of PEACE went out completely.

The SECOND CANDLE said, “I am FAITH”
I am no longer indispensable.
It doesn’t make sense that I stay lit another moment.

Just then, a breeze softly blew away the flame of FAITH.

Sadly, the THIRD CANDLE began to speak, “I am LOVE”
People don’t understand my importance so they simply put me aside.
They even forget to love those who are nearest to them.

And waiting no longer, the flame of LOVE went out.

Suddenly, a child entered the room and saw the THREE unlit CANDLES.
“Why aren’t you burning? You’re supposed to stay lit until the end!”
Saying this, the child began to cry.

Then, the FOURTH CANDLE answered.
“Don’t be afraid my child, I am HOPE. While I am still burning, we can re-light the other candles”

With shining eyes, the child took the candle of HOPE and lit the other candles.

The greatest of these is LOVE, but the flame of HOPE should never go out in your LIFE!
With HOPE, each of us can live with PEACE, FAITH and LOVE.

Contributed by: Angela Ooi.

Photos by: The Writer.

As usual, the enthusiastic crowd gathered to listen to Jeya, an "old bird" recapitulating on the topic of the day where many attendees had missed in the last meet.

There was so much to share and doubts to clear over the present political scenario in the country. The promulgation of the Anak Bangsa Malaysia concept as a platform to ensure The People's Declaration is not left forgotten is the immediate step that has to be taken seriously.

A reminder by Aloysius that tardiness should be observed while Robert Foo added that the appropriate badge should be worn made a lot of senses.

So People, let us get what are required done!

As usual, the patriotic Anak Bangsa Malaysia sang the National Anthem to end the evening.