No Child Is Too Ugly, No Parent Is Too Poor

I was having lunch with my wife in SS2 Petaling Jaya (5th. April), I told my wife to observe an elderly couple sitting a few tables away. They are in their late sixties, and a loving couple indeed - loving in the sense that they showed their concern for each other.

We were supposed to leave but decided to stay a little longer and to leave after them.

When we walked to the car park, I saw them standing in the hot sun trying to stop a taxi but in vain. My wife agreed that we gave them a lift if they were on our way.

They were delighted by our offer and for a moment I thought I had made a great mistake. They started to tell us their story until we reached their house.

They insisted that my wife and I should come in for a cup of tea and reluctantly we obliged.

It was a double-story terrace in a respected residential area which is actually out of our way home. The first thing that struck me was to write about them to which my wife kept reminding me to be sensitive about people’s life.

I asked and they obliged except that I should keep certain privacy and where they are staying. I think I had given my wife my best cynical smile how my “charm” could work on people.

Along our way home, I began to recall what I had read about parents and their children staying apart. I remembered one particular fantastic piece and was inspired by it.

Now, I am writing in my own way to tell you this touching story about this couple living together in their golden years. I hope you will enjoy it.

My child, your mother and I now live a comfortable life and we cherish all the happy years we shared together. Now you all have grown up to lead your own life and this has become a blessing to us.

When you were born I remembered how I rushed to the hospital without my denture. Your mother had hardly recovered from her birth pain was amused to see how excited I was. But then, you were just a baby to know that you were born into a family where luxury was not there to welcome you.

You came into our lives, a gift from above to cherish and love. Each day was a joy for us to treasure and to see you grow. Your smile and little frame moved our world. We had no complaints when you lay awake the moment we want to sleep. Your mother had to pat and coax you to sleep while her own eyes were heavy looking after you the whole day. She fell asleep not realizing that you still want to play.

I hated myself because I could not afford a babysitter but your mother had no complaints because she had you.

We know the reasons why you chose not to stay because we have become too grumpy. Not only we don’t see you often but also we have become strangers to our own grandchildren. Perhaps I have forgotten how to hold a baby but do you know my arms still remember?

Sometimes your mother would stand beside your empty bed and I pretended not to take notice. Your empty bed has so many fond memories to us.

Yes, I grumbled about your late nights and you took me for a pest. You could not remember the same way you grumbled when I refused to buy you toys because I don’t have the money.

Only if you have the time to listen then you will understand what I have to say. But time is the enemy that has made us fall apart.

If only you have a little patience, I could slowly remember what I have forgotten to do. And could you remember what you had forgotten to take to school and I had to rush it for you?

You called me names and that was cruel. I gave you a pet name because you are precious.

You stopped me from driving and sold my car so afraid that I might hurt myself. But you have forgotten how I held you in my arms with an umbrella over our heads. I wanted to keep you dry and I was drenched waist down.

I laid in front of the television inadvertently fell asleep and you rudely awaken me with your string of complaints. But you did not know I could hardly stay awake waiting for you to walk in the door.

Years had swiftly past by leaving your mother and me to keep each other safe. We have learnt to live in our own surreal world with a fervent hope to see you walk in with our grandchildren.

Perhaps you are too ashamed of us but your mother is still so protective of your long absence by keep kidding herself that you are busy. Are you?

By growing old, we have become a nuisance to ourselves. Senility has not overwhelmed us yet, except for our slow movements to get things done. You could not remember our patience when you started to learn how to recognize the alphabets, could you?

I wish for your mother to leave first than me. Again you will be annoyed by what I have said. I may be heartless but I am practical. I may be selfish but I am open-minded. If I leave first then who is going to look after her? All the memories will be too excruciating for her to rekindle.

The house will be empty when we are gone. I don’t want each day you wake up and blame yourself for knowing us too little for too long.

The only house we have is filled with the dwindling warmth- the warmth that has harnessed your parents love for you. Perhaps when the day comes, you will be standing beside our empty bed like a ritual you mother had done thinking about you.

To our new found friends, my wife and I thank you dearly because your story has taught us how to live with life. And to all young people who feel their parents are a burden, please take a moment to reflect over the reminiscence of your younger days how you were loved by them.

No Child Is Too Ugly, No Parent Is Too Poor. This adage has all to tell how we should understand filial-piety.